This sub can start its own war, whether it be a cold one or a terror one. It can hear, see and touch its opponent in so many ways: multiple high-range sonar arrays, plastic-celluouse-metal sensor skin, pivot-coil nuclear turbines with sound deflector sonar, a mini-sub, a pressure hatch designed for special forces missions, and the HD masts that replace periscopes.
Michelle loves the new sub. She says it's OK to use it to "blow all them crazy mutha-fuckas away if necessary", but "does not endorse this message". [this is a satirical quote by Michelle Obama, not an actual quote] She definitively supports the use of the sub to increase national security, and also endorses its use as a great concert platform for the world's first underwater concert in a sub since Yellow Submarine, with the concert featuring tastefully classic acts like Amy Winehouse, Pete Simmons, Jay-Z, Li'l Wayne (that Lollipop buzz sound should drive the sonars crazy), Rihanna, John Mayer, Snoop Dogg, Coldplay and Radiohead, with worldwide simulcasts using the new high-tech masts in HD. As she eloquently notes, "This concert'll be on! It'll be F--ing mod, baby"!
Michelle's sooo cool, sorta like Jackie Kennedy resurrected, but with a black woman's ass. I like that - the real deal. I wonder if that's an Oleg Cassini or Oscar de la Renta she's wearing. Ahh but this is 2008, not 1960. More likely a Versace or Anne Klein. Or maybe Baby Phat. Definitely she would be the most elegant First Lady we've had since Jackie (sorry Hillary & Laura, you dress OK but not this good). And probably the most saucy, too.
A nubian Jackie O - an American Nefertiti - imagine that. An excellent close to the old millenium of colonialism and the dawn of the new millenium of equality.
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